this week.

this week.

   This week has been really fun but really hard.As usual i have been argueing and fighting with my parents and stuff.i just wish that my parents would leave me alone and just let me deal with my personal stuff the way i want to.they are constantly stepping in and trying to fix it themselves and they cant fix it.they are to strict on me and i have no idea what to do about it.they wont let me go to the mall which is when i ALAWAYS get to talk to the friends i never see at school(cant go cause alot of gang fights have happened)but the fights are over and they still wont let me go back.my best friend needs me to be there for him because hes upset about alot of stuff alot of the time but i cant cause my parents wont let me go anywhere that he can go.it makes me inredibly mad and upset.i have no idea what to do about it.sometimes i get so mad at my parents that i just need to be away from them and when my friend says i can go over to his house to talk to him about whats upsetting me and to watch tv my parents wont let me go.i mean i realize that it is a guys house but his parents are there and nothing would happen.ive known him for 5 yrs now and i know that nothing would happen.its getting pretty scary for me cause hes alaways talking about how he wants to die and how he hates his life.then sometimes ill call him and ask what hes doing and he will be like"im in the middle of killing myself." it scares the freaken crap out of me.hes my best friend in the whole world i can lose him and i dont know what i would do without him.he alaways needs me to talk to him but my parents wont let me talk on the phone or on the computer and they wont let me go to his house so that we can talk.i know my parents are being strict because they are protecting me but im so scared that one of these days i wont be able to talk to him and then his parents will call me and be like"he killed himself last night." that would be sooo hard for me.i cant lose him and i dont know what i would do without him so that would be my worst nightmare.so its pretty hard for me.

    Another thing is that i keep growing farther and farther away from god.im trying to become closer to him and read my bible and pray alot about it but it doesnt seem to be getting any better at all.i desperatly need him but i have no idea how to be close to him again.its all so confusing and i need him just to work through my life and my best friends life.all that i know to do is pray alot about it constantly.i hope that everything gets better and i have faith in god that it will.if u have any advice or anything at all please send me a message or somthen or comment on this blog i could really use some advice about this stuff.please and thnx.=]] oh and please pray for my friend.he really needs his life to change around.thank you!